The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies
Continuing Education Opportunity:
The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies
As you begin planning your continuing education for the coming
year, you might want to consider The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness
of the Rockies. Now it is sixth year, over 150 clergy have attended
The Center from five different denominations. It has been described
as "the most valuable continuing education experience I have ever
attended." The Center has sites presently in Utah, Wyoming, Colorado,
Nebraska, and Western Kansas. New sessions will begin this summer
and fall in Salt Lake City, Casper, and Colorado Springs. If there
is enough interest, we will consider another Center in Grand Junction.
Discussions are presently taking place with Easter Kansas as well
as North and South Dakota.
What is the Center for Pastoral Effectiveness? It is a
program that focuses on Family Systems in the church. Yes, there
are several options available that also focus on Family Systems,
but most of them utilize a therapeutic or academic model. The Center
has a "Pastoral" model. Everything we do together enables clergy
to be healthier clergy as they lead their churches.
Why consider The Center? There is a lot of anxiety across
the country and our region is no exception. The elections, the
war, economics, water, sexual issues, the changing face of the
small town and the city, you name it, all add anxiety to the country.
This anxiety ALWAYS ends up impacting the church and especially
the life of clergy. The rising levels of pressure with our churches
cause increasing demands on clergy and their families. It is absolutely
imperative that clergy reflect on how they can deal with this anxiety
because, much of the time, the anxiety gets focused, even fixated,
on the clergy. How do we manage ourselves so that we can stay well-differentiated
as leaders, for self, for family, for church? This is what is addressed
at The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies. To find
out more visit the web site, www.pastoraleffectiveness.org,
or write Rev. Bill Selby, Center Mentor at integrit4u at comcast.net.
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Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of
the Rockies-Registration 2005 Deadlines
What do over 160 clergy know about The Center....
"it is the
most valuable continuing education experience."
If you have been considering The Center, remember
Six Three-Day Retreats spread over 18 months and spanning three
calendar years
to make more continuing education funds available.
However, registration deadlines are approaching, especially for
Evergreen, so decisions need to be made soon.
- Evergreen Center Deadline: August 15
- Casper Center Deadlin: September 22
- Utah Deadline October 15
If you are considering it, encourage your clergy friends and
come as a group.
Email: Bill Selby, Center Mentor integrit4u@comcast.net
Thoughts on Moving from The Center for Pastoral
Effectiveness
The Center was created to maintain ministers in ministry which
means creating healthier clergy and healthier churches. This CENTERLETTER
is directed to clergy who are making a move to a new appointment,
to those preparing to receive a “new pastor,” and clergy
who have moved previously with the expressed purpose of making
the Rocky Mountain Conference a more healthy arena in which to
pastor, worship, and do the ministry of Christ.
Now that the Rocky Mountain Annual Conference for 2004 has adjourned, many
churches are preparing for a change in leadership and pastors for a change
in pastoral setting. This CENTERLETTER is directed to clergy who are making
a move to a new appointment. However, it could assist those who are preparing
to receive a “new pastor,” which could mean laity, church staff,
or other clergy on the staff, in making the transition more positive and beneficial
to all. At the same time, for clergy who have made the move previously, it
could help you to stop and reflect on that move and perhaps the positive things
you did as well as how many possible “traps” you are in today because
you “didn't do” some of the following.
This is not meant to be a be-all type of self-help letter. Many
clergy make the move to a new appointment smoothly. However, each
of us takes our personal “junk” from place to place.
The FIRST 100 DAYS, indeed, the first two years of any move, are
emotionally charged. That is why historically, many appointments
were two years in length. It was easier for clergy to move than
to confront the real issues, whether with the pastor or the church.
But confronting our issues, is really not that painful. Indeed
it can be fun. (Just ask members of the Class of 2001 of the Center
for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies.) It is just that we,
along with our people, would like a “quick-fix” to
our issue and get on with the tasks at hand. Perhaps, we hope,
our stuff will go away. At the same time, it is extremely difficult
to integrate information that is basically “one-dimensional” into
a “multi-dimensional/emotional" system. To fully integrate
this material, consider attending the next Center beginning in
September.
The First 100 Days
There are three key words for the first in a new appointment.
They are LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN. In the process of listening, look
for positive signs that there is a place for you in this church
family. It is much like claiming your place in the birth order
of your own family. At the same time, center on yourself and your
own spiritual needs. Our faith teaches us some significant things
about New Beginnings. We should allow them to surface in these
charged days. Remember, though, your new congregations still needs
a little space to process the loss of its most recent leader, whether
their exit was wanted or unwanted.
Edwin Friedman, in his very useful book Generation to Generation
suggests a three-fold strategy for entering an established church
family.
- Avoid interfering with or rearranging the triangles already
in existence there.
- Be wary of efforts by members of the congregations to triangle
you with the pastor who has just left or other members of the
system.
- Work at creating as many DIRECT one-on-one relationships as
possible with key members of your new appointment.
In a sense, being appointed to a new congregation is like entering
a “blended family,” where two previously married partners,
at least one of who has children, set up house together. There
is already some baggage, theirs AND yours. The length of the previous
relationship and the nature of the separation are factors of varying
degrees.
When you enter the drama much of the scenery has been in place
for a long time. Though you might instantly see some much better
ways to arrange it, take care — and keep yours hands off
the thermostat, too. Be not anxious, it is not YOU who is seen
as the threat, but the CHANGE you represent. At first everything
you “touch” will interfere with triangles that have
been in place for a long time. Until a sense of trust begins to
grow, they think of it as THEIR scenery and they like it the way
it is.
This does not mean nothing can be changed. Indeed, a transitional
period is sometimes the best opportunity to make certain changes.
It is one thing, though, to express ideas and make suggestions
and yet another to be “Mr. Fixit” or “Ms. DO-It-My-Way.”
Flattery is often in abundance as you enter a new parish. You
will hear some very nice things said about and to you by people
who do not even know you. All too often they take the form of negative
remarks about the former pastor in a misguided attempt to make
the new one feel accepted. If you can resist that kind of “flattery” you
will not only keep yourself out of triangles that can haunt you
for some time, but you can also enhance the possibility that the
unresolved material involved in that kind of false flattery can
be dealt with.
Triangling remarks like that are from leftover unresolved issues.
There will always be comments like that as no relationship is every
totally worked-through. Your start with your new congregation,
however, will be much better if you can "hear” what
is being said, but not get triangled by it.
Note: An emotional triangle is formed by any three person or issues.
When any two parts of a triangle become uncomfortable with another,
they will “triangle in” or focus on the third person
or issue as a way of stabilizing their one relationship. Not all
triangles are insidious. It is the presence of unresolved issues
that makes them so.
Last: The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness of the Rockies is
a vital resource to clergy when changing churches. As clergy, you
may say, "No way. I'm too busy getting settled." However,
that becomes a part of the systemic problem. Clergy tend to start
a new appointment "running" which sets them up to continue
running their entire tenure. If they gain some wisdom on the way
and decide they are running too much for the health of themselves,
family, or the church, when they make the change all kinds of sabotage
happens. The people react and want the clergy to return to the
original agreement because they know, emotionally, that something
has happened and they are not comfortable with it. Many times this
is signals the final months or year of the tenure for the clergy
at that church.
That is why The Center for Pastoral Effectiveness was created
to assist clergy in making healthy decision prior too action.
If you, as clergy or as a leader of a church about to experience
change in the appointment, wish to have more information concerning
the Center, just email Bill Selby at integrit4u at aol.com.
Rev. Bill Selby, Center Mentor
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